i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
