oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
