my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize