my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
