Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I have fence marks all over my body
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
