Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
