She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
