Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize