things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
