Already got asked if we're dating
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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