better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
