girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
