I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
