She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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