Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
