Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Randomize
