Nicole vs. Life
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
