i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
they're like a gay fantastic four
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
