If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
