Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
