I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize