Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Randomize