If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
