I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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