i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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