Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
