Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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