Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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