she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Can I color on your dick again?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
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