Sry I called you an 8
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
