I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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