dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
