I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
my shit smells like andre
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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