You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize