shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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