Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
