she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So much rum. So many feels.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
