And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There r osticjed everywhere
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
