considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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