i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
