You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
