You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
