I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
