Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
You just made me feel so damn special
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
