Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
