the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
