please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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