I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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