can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Sorry about my life...
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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