If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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