Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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