Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
