it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
