oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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