Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
foreskin is a definite game changer
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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