Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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