Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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