I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
her vagine was all disorganized.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish ðŸ€
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
