PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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