Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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