Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You may now shotgun with the bride
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
