Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize