we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
