I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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